Journalism. n. The practice of laying off 250 people, shuttering the last remaining international bureaus, and bringing in an editor who is young and hip and knows what the readers want.
Journalism plays a major role in any free society, one that involves calling an emergency staff-wide meeting to hear the new editor speak about how the news business is changing and how they’re going to have to adapt by becoming a leaner, sleeker, more agile news outlet that embraces these new realities and is not so hostile toward clickable “user-friendly” content, which will drive traffic and supposedly be better for everyone in the long run.
Journalism is an aging reporter with 35 years in the business who loves the sound of the printing press and is currently filling a cardboard box with his things because his brand of in-depth investigative reporting doesn’t generate enough weekly page views to justify the cost of his work or the high CPMs. Whatever the hell that is.
The field of journalism, which can trace its origins to the 15th century, is also known for leading with a piece about online shopping the Monday after Thanksgiving instead of a bombing in the Middle East, and for uncovering the truth behind who designed Gwyneth Paltrow’s handbag.
Journalism boasts a number of brave reporters who have tirelessly worked for the public good, and its main objectives are coordinating with advertisers to ensure the content fits their needs, and determining which terms are most actively searched on Google so it can fire off 15 related “charticles” designed to steal some of the web traffic before public interest wanes.