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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Agree to Dissagree..Agree to listen..Agree to understand...Do no harm.

1. Agree to disagree. Do not take the opinions of others personally. Realize they have a vested interests in believing what they believe. Do try to get into productive discourse and to educate, but be open to learning as you do so.

2. Agree to listen. Listening is the most important communication and critical thinking skill, yet is it rapidly becoming he weakest. You need to really listen, not just sit and hear someone go on and on and repeat memorized or internalized tracts. Listen for what is underneath what they are saying. Look for the value, truths and lessons in what they say. Also listen to understand the views of others as you prepare persuasive discourse yourself.

3. Agree to understand. This includes understanding time restraints (for a teacher class time and number of speakers, amount that must be covered in a term and so on), physical limitations, the full demographics and psychographics of other individuals or groups, possible painful personal beliefs or experience behind their beliefs, that if you look underneath the surface you may find you agree more than you think, that everyone has different life expediences and above all (for students) that this is only a class.

4. Do no harm. Never intentionally harm another person with your words or actions. There is no faster way to shut down communication and progress than causing harm or the threat of harm. The word intentional is important, as we should not let a fear of offense or harm keep us from advancing legitimate arguments or exploring the envelope in the name of growth and understanding.


Tiffany Mitchell said...

This is a great illustration as to how words can be very powerful. Everyone should always consider what they say before they say it, as well as listening to others and not judging them based on what they say because majority of the time their is hidden meaning behind those words.

Karen Johnson Com 101-4080 said...

I appreciate the article and try to put myself in others shoes on their position. Sometimes, I am persuaded and change my view. However, unfortunately, I feel there are people that communicate with the view that it is more important for them to be right than what is really factual and right.

A Carlos Com 101-4049 said...

It's a shame that we have to put this out there, isn't this what debates and freedom of speech is all about? What a wonderful way to remind us all that we may not always see eye to eye, but that we have an obligation to ourselves and others to hear and validate their opinons, even if they don't mirror our own.

Anonymous said...

I agree with this 100%. I think we forget to listen to others points of views and are so ready to defend our own point of view.
Phoenix Carmen

Anonymous said...

Words to live by. I can see how this would be helpful in class and in life. I especially like the theme of acceptance and understanding.

Rebecca Johnson 4049

Anonymous said...

More people should think this way but some are just in their own world believing only what they want to and not accepting or even entertaining any other outside ideas.
Brent Wilson
Com101 4080

Jana said...

The article contained great tips for listening and communicating. It brought out points that helped me to understand how to listen with the intent to gain understanding rather than for the sake of arguing. I also found it interesting that the author said that even though listening is the most important communication and critical thinking skill, it is becoming the weakest. I wonder how much modern technology is attributing to the weakening of our listening skills.
Jana Henning
Summer, 2012

Anonymous said...

I'm one of these people that needs to listen and understand what people are talking about. I can admit that sometimes I try to hurt people with my words because I get hurt first. It does not make it right, but I'm learning not to do it as much.
Brianna Dirden

Bree Rogers said...

I totally agree with the last part of the blog... The bible says that the tongue is desperately wicked and can destroy anything (I'm paraphrashing). I know that to be very true- Everytime I speak negative on my husband or kids, I kill a little of their potential. It is not easy to rebuild them either- they have to then remove the wall of hurt and insecurity down before they can trust again.

Bree Rogers said...

Again, I agree with the second part of the blog as well- The bible says be quick to listen and slow to speak it also says the bible is full of hidden messages, just as people are. The only way to uncover the truth of the situation is to listen and observe. I also find it true that if you listen you will have less to reply about in the end- It works for all the married couples out there. Lol. One more thing, Teacher, in the second sentence of the second part of the blog the "t" is missing out of the word "the". Also the last sentence was hard to understand- i'm not sure what it meant.

Anonymous said...

I wish people would stop and take these into account when they begin talking about hard topics like politics and religion. Lately it seems nobody is flexible on any viewpoint whatsoever on any level of society. People holding differing viewpoints then are wrong and ignorant and somehow less of a human or less of an American and it becomes much easier to throw words at them that are hurtful and inappropriate.
-Nicole H.

Jake Von Goldberg said...

Agree to disagree, a difficult task, a divider among people. To me I think it is a part of ego. A person will refuse to take account a different viewpoint. Conversation should be treated like a delicate plant. With the right amount of care it can bloom and even spread seeds to new life.

Anonymous said...

Colleen RT

The post make a good point listen not just hearing is very important. Just take for example the recent election. Neither political party listed to each other, they were both more interested in hearing themself talk then in actually saying anything. When entering into a conversation people need to realize that there is more than one opinion involved.

Anonymous said...

I wish everyone could do this. I believe it is a skill that should be practiced, but it is difficult when your communication partners don't understand this concept.

S. Hayes PTA

Trevia Gatewood said...

Thank you I really like this post. It should be included in every instructors syllabus. In my last class, we were asked to give our opinions on each others team thesis statements. This did not go over well with some teams. Some students took every word personally, attitudes developed and one team no longer wanted to speak to the other. I need to print this out and keep it on the top of my binder. T186G

KT said...

I think a lot of kids my age forget to LISTEN to each other. Always trying to out do each other, instead of taking a moment to understand. I believe firmly in seeing things from other point of view in disagreements. It can do you wonders, now if only others could do the same