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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a   University of  Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student...........

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.  

 One student, however, wrote the following:  

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.  


Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:  
  
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.  

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?  

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' 
  
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

4 comments:

Lindsey Chapter said...

Wow...just...wow! That's hilarious. And also what you get for asking a college-aged male to answer that question.

Morgan Romito Com 101 Sec. 116 said...

When I first read this i thought this was a joke. I can just imagine this guy being a class clown and hilarious person. I guess when you ask such a unique question in a chemistry class your expecting the same answers because some people don't know how to go about this question. This kid must've looked at this question obviously different then anyone. At least he supported his information and gave facts.

Tanisha Barney said...

Hahahah, this is great. I can't imagine answering that question but it seems that this kid did it with style. kind of odd, but very funny.

Amy Ridings Com 101 116 said...

This is so funny! I thought for a second this was all just for fun. The way he answered it was humorous which took away the awkardness.