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Monday, September 17, 2012

Effective Listening Skills

A competent listener:
  1. Uses eye contact appropriately.
  2. Is attentive and alert to a speaker’s verbal and nonverbal behavior.
  3. Is patient and does not interrupt, waiting for the speaker to finish.
  4. Is responsive, using verbal and nonverbal expressions.
  5. Asks questions in a nonthreatening tone.
  6. Paraphrases, restates or summarizes what the speaker says.
  7. Provides constructive verbal and nonverbal feedback.
  8. Is empathic, makes an effort to understand the speaker.
  9. Demonstrates interest in the speaker as a person.
  10. Demonstrates a caring attitude and is willing to listen.
  11. Does not criticize, is as nonjudgmental as possible.
  12. Is open-minded.
  13. Works actively at listening and understanding.
An ineffective listener:
  1. Interrupts the speaker, demonstrates impatience.
  2. Does not make eye contact, allows his or her eyes to wander.
  3. Is distracted and/or fidgety, does not pay attention to the speaker.
  4. Is not interested in the speaker.
  5. Gives the speaker little or no verbal and/or nonverbal feedback.
  6. Changes the subject.
  7. Is judgmental.
  8. Is close-minded.
  9. Talks too much.
  10. Is self-preoccupied.
  11. Gives unwanted advice.
  12. Is too busy to listen.
  13. Stops listening and does other things (text, read, videos, etc.)


kendra moore said...

Before i present my oral presentation i find it extremely helpful to look up tips on do's and dont's for my presentation i feel that this helped me tremedously!

nicole said...

I defffffinitely need to work on some of these top few things... a lot of them i got down but theres still something missing,.... i often wander around or have wandering eyes not intentionally. I have a hard time looking into peoples eyes, I just get freked out looking into people eyes I dont know. That might sound weird, but its true. Even though ill still try my best to work on it.

Morgan Romito Com 101 Section. 116 said...

So reading this I've realized that on the ineffective listener one of my biggest pet peeves is people who when they're talking to me look away or focus on something else than me. I can not stand when people are texting and im trying to tell them something, so being a little brat i like to go off topic and talk about some completely irrelevant and at the end be like did you hear me, and they'll always say yeah i agree. When really i was talking about nothing of the subject. I am going to work on my listening skills because since i can't stand when people do that to me I hope I don't do it to them.

Ryan said...

Nicole - I do the same thing. My way to fixing it is by not thinking about eye contact or the person in front of me. Just do it. Think more about why you are making eye contact. Your intentions are listening and respecting the speaker in front of you. You could always imagine that you have sunglasses on.

Anonymous said...

R Caruthers BC550
I cant look into other peoples eyes either. it is too personal or something. its weird. i do try to. When i have to talk i feel so nervous because everyone is looking at me, but in a way it makes it easier. when they are not paying attention it makes you feel that what you have to say is not important.

Anonymous said...

Van Nguyen, Com 101, sec. 116
This post reminds me of one of the cultural difference between the East and the West.In America, when people talk to me, they expect me to look at them directly in their eyes. That means I pay attention to what they say and respect them. But in some Asia countries, like Vietnam, if an elderly person talk to me and I just look straight directly back at him or her, I will be considered impolite or rude. Since I live in the U.S now, I remember to adjust myself to be an effective listener by using eye contact appropriately.

Madison BC 550 said...

Well now I wish i had seen this before my speech! These tips are actually really helpful.

Madison BC 550 said...

Well now I wish i had seen this before my speech! These tips are actually really helpful.

Kimberly said...

BC 550
I always look into peoples eyes when I am one on one. I feel that it shows respect and lets them know that I am listening. However I am going to be scared to death when all eyes are me. I panick.

Art Lynch said...

As indicated above, in some cultures eye contact is considered rude or even insulting. That's why we say that we teach communication as it is for Americans (meaning the US, Canada and Western Europe), where eye contact is essential if you want to be listend to or trusted.

Anonymous said...

I have always tried to be a competent listener,no doubt these skills will help me improve to be a better listener.

-Stephanie Cardiel

Anonymous said...

I really need to brush up on my listening skills.
Angela M
Comm 101 HN Sex 4080

colby said...

I find that focusing on those that are making eye contact with you and looking from one side of the room to the other to find those who are paying attention helps me focus better. Not every one will pay attention for their attention span is lessing as learn in class. So I do my best and the rest fall into place. I have also found that I can be classified as a ineffective listener but I just can't sit still. 4080

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I fear that the communicator can see my attention wander even though eye contact is made. I found it interesting that in some cultures, eye contact is frowned upon.

John Williams
COM 101 Sec 4049

Berenice said...

I definitely need to work on some of these top few things. this is helps to remember!

Anonymous said...

Know I should know how to be a good listener right:) I am defiantly guilty of the inactive listening at times with my family I have to have them repeat things. I guess it is something you always have to work on.
Gwen Dennett com 101 sec 4522